“Hey Eartha,” a text
read from CR.
“Uhh Jay said you were going to call me not text. You
already have one strike against you for not asking for my number yourself. Please
don’t get two,” I playfully texted.
“Oh it’s like that huh? Well for your information Eartha I’m
at work or else I would’ve called. I just didn’t want to call too late,” he
texted.
How sweet of him and he had a job too. I guess that somewhat
explained his absence from any extracurricular activities. I thought.
Side Bar: If you haven’t noticed already, I was very intentional on
dating guys that participated in extracurricular activities, particularly
sports. My dad once told me “Always get you a nigga that plays sports because
you know two things about him. 1) He is going to be healthy and 2) He gone have
his grades right so he can play.” For some odd reason, out of all of his advice
that was something that stood out the most.
However, my initial apprehension to CR reframing from sports
didn’t bother me so much anymore. After all, most jocks that I knew and dated
didn’t have a clue what hard work was. They usually had everything handed to
them and were momma’s boys with phony thug exteriors they used to desberately
fit in with other phony thug exteriors of their peers. In fact, not only was I
no longer perturbed, I was actually impressed with CR, but I didn’t really know
him so of course I exercised one of the plays from my jock male peers playbook
and stuck to my hard-core-thug persona.
“Well I really don’t care what you have to do. If you wanted
my number you could’ve asked yourself and went on your break to call me. You
lucky I was feeling a little generous though.”
“Oh really LOL,” CR replied.
“Yes. Really.” I shot back. “But like I said, I’ma let you
slide this one time. Where do you work at anyways?”
“I work at a restaurant in Austintown. You wouldn’t know
what or where it is so there’s no need for me to explain.”
“How you know what I know?”
“Does where I work really matter?”
He was right. I really didn’t give fuck where he worked. I
was just making small talk or text rather but he didn’t have to get smart.
“Note to self this
nigga low-key got smart with me,” I thought.
“So are you single?” he asked.
I guess I knew that was coming. I hated questions like that
and usually handed them with care like a politician ducking the real issues. I
mean, on one hand I could’ve simply answered yes. One the other hand though I
didn’t have a boyfriend per se, but I had a few candidates in mind. One, was
looking promising, a second, who was just a fling and probably headed nowhere
fast, a third who was an ex from a few years back that I kept in touch with
from time to time and whom I shared a deep connection with and then there was
the slew of guys that I just flirted with but had no interest in what-so-ever.
I guess, right now CR was kind of a mixture between two and three.
I could’ve explained all of that, but instead I chose the
much easier and none-of-his-damn-business route.
“Yes. I am single.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“Well I hope I can change that soon,” CR texted with several
smiley faces.
What I should’ve
said: “LOL thanks that was sweet, but I’m really not trying to be in any kind
of relationship right now and I’m not trying to lead you on.”
What I said:
“Maybe.”
Well there it was. I’d completely doused with gasoline and
set on fire any chances of me being able to act naïve. Farewell to my
opportunity to say that I was just “talking” to him and not leading him on. I
definitely was and I knew exactly what I was doing from the start. He was giving
me what every girl wanted though—attention. It was the right feeling, but just
coming from the wrong person I suppose.
Tom my surprise, the time I spent with CR was so amazing. I
was actually having a great time just shooting the breeze with CR. No sexual
innuendos, no bitter arguments or other females glaring at me from across the
room. It was perfect. Sure it had only been a few weeks but for the first time
in my dating career, I was stress-free. I was actually just enjoying the
platonic company of the opposite sex with no strings attached. I know he was
under the assumption that things were headed in the direction of a romantic
relationship and I was going to have to deal with that, but in the mean time I
couldn’t help myself.
“I’ll talk you later on okay Eartha,” CR said as he headed
out the school doors to catch his bus.
“Aight.” I said.
I was just about to open my locker when until I was almost
knocked to the ground.
“What you want dude?”
It was none other than Kain. He was one of the situations
that I was juggling. A smooth chocolate brother, who for legitimately reasons
had every right to never and I do mean NEVER..EVA..EVA…EVA date me again
(that’s a whole blog post in itself), but for some reason always made it his
business to….. BE IN MY DAMN BUSINESS!
“I see you into ole boy huh?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Chuckles. “Dang you stay pippin?”
“For one, I don’t know what you’re talking about and two,
why does it matter because last time I checked Eartha was as single as a dollar
bill.”
“Yea but you know you still luh me girl,” Cain said cuffing
my chin.
“Man quit playin and you should probably go check on ya’ home
girl over there too. She don’t look too happy and she been staring at us since
you walked over here. She lookin like she ain’t feelin you being over here
cuddled all up on me so I would go handle that if I were you. I’m just sayin.”
“Oh you got jokes?”
“Nah. I just would hate to see you get caught up again. You
know what happened the last time. That wasn’t a good look for you boo boo.
Plus, I thought I taught you better than that pimp,” I said laughing so hard I
damn near pee’d on myself.
“Man them hoes was trippin. I ain’t get caught up in nothing
and I they both still callin me but I see you dun added another playa to the
roster doe?”
“Whatever dude. And you know I keep me about fo’ five on the
squad. Never know when you might have to cut a ma’fucka.”
“Well you need to leave Chance alone.”
“Umm like I told you before I’m not with Chance and even if
I was what that got to do with you?
What you tryna get on or something?”
“What if I was?”
“Mannn… you trippin.”
We played around but underneath all of the sarcasm rested
some pretty strong feelings. Kain was a beautiful specimen with dark chocolate
skin, long hair and handsome features, but I knew I had fucked that up a long
time ago so there was absolutely no chance of us ever rekindling any flame. He
was just in one of his I-still-like-you-but-can’t-be-with- you moments.
Sometimes it was cute to watch him still get jealous. Other times, like this
one, it was confusing and put me in a bad space. We joked around so much I
never knew if or when he was serious. I would’ve given it another shot if he
was willing but my pride and ego were way too big to come out and say that. If
he wanted to get back with me, he’d have to make the first move and I knew that
was highly unlikely so I usually smiled and tried not to get so much in my
feelings.
Later that night I wish I could tell you how I spent the
evening preparing a script telling CR the truth and investigating my harbored
feelings about Kain, but unfortunately I did neither. Instead, I spent the
night ignoring his calls, halfhertidly responding to his text messages and
talking to Kain….
